Pressure makes diamonds of us
by allonzy
Summary: A multific about Jeff&Annie, inspired by a fake!engaged gif post on tumblr. Explains community's romantic backstories in ch2 cos Jeff doesn't know Abed and Annie kissed (I think). -PLOT- Annie talks to her mum but to get to her mother to talk to her she tells a not-so-small lie. But what will she do when her mother's arriving soon and she doesn't have a fiancee? Update when can.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Selfishness and Selflessness

It started on her mother's birthday. She saw how her friends were acting more mature with their families and she decided the least she could do was call her on her birthday.

"Hello?"

"Hi mum, its Annie."

"Oh.. Hi Annie. Your brother says hello."

"Thanks.. Happy Birthday mum. You should have your card or get it tomorrow."

"Yeah its good. What's been going on with you Annie?"

"Still at Community College. I changed courses."

"Oh but administration was such a stable job. You may continue changing your mind whereas admin would help and open up social works. Get you with higher people. Finally get you with a nice man and married. I've give this man your number. Lovely man, works with your father and I set you up on a date with another man. I'm glad you look nicer darling, braces put men off. And I'm thinking of giving a number to our new numbers."

"Mum. Please stop. We haven't been talking and you've been giving men my number," but she'd had this conversation enough when she was younger to know it meant nothing, she took one big courage step to at least pause it, "Plus my fiancée is jealous. Even if I text them to say not to text me."

"Oh! Darling! You're engaged? I'm so glad to hear! Is he a nice young man? Does he care for you properly? What are your plans in the future?" And so took place the most normal conversation her mother ever had. Asked her about her plans without complaining too much, asked about other things and she realised - she actually enjoyed it.

Over the next few weeks she talked to her mum about everything when she called which was every few days. Abed and Britta caught certain snippets in flat and all Annie could do was shrug. She even talked it over with Britta at bartending.

"Why engaged?"

"She's wanted to see me married off for years. Probably since I was small but 17+ is legal. And yet I know if I was to marry without her input shed have my head. Plus Id had enough of the stranger calls. And now I pretend she treats me like a normal person." She sighs and half smiles at Britta, both drinking vodka and cranberry.

Britta runs out of advice cos she knows Annie's mother cut her off in rehab and she knows Annie doesn't want to be a disappointment to her again. Instead she half jokingly insists that she hire someone. She's woman enough to admit she takes a lot of Britta's bartending advice. Some can be abit odd but on the all she's quite good. Its mid-study group when it really kicks off. Her phone rings and she decides to ignore Jeff's pursed lips at noticing the contact. "Hello, mum, I'm quite busy at the moment."

"Don't worry, short conversation. You're off on holiday with your man in 2 or 3 weeks aren't you?" Her mother says, as if her biggest plan is to send a postcard.

"Yeah. Test next week so we're treating ourselves."

"Good. Thought so. I'll come over in a couple of days for that week then. Time to meet this man of your life."

"What?! No, I.. We..." She stumbled over her words.

"No, Annie, I need to meet this man of yours. And help you plan...whenever you have it, you need a plan ready."

Annie knew it took her mum a lot to say whenever so she simply sighed, "Yeah, okay. See you when?"

"Wednesday. Oh, I'll come see this Greendale of yours too. I'm sure you have a small place though so I'll book a hotel room."

"Thank you mum. I'll see you then." And with a quick bye each way she hung up and slammed arms crossed on the table and hid her face in them. Jeff, Frankie, Elroy and Chang looked in confusion as she grumbled into her arms. Britta and Abed looked at each other, knowing what it meant. "She's coming here." Annie moans loudly.

Britta took a drink out of her backpack and poured Annie a shot. Frankie berated her for stealing drink but by then Annie had downed the shot and doing a tap signal on the table for another for which Britta obliged. Elroy had enough of the confusion and asked, "Am I out of frame here? Does this happen every year? Can I drink?"

Annie passed over the shot glass and at Jeff's shocked expression she sadly shrugs which he just nods.

"May I?" Abed asks Annie. "All of it?"

"Yeah, suppose they best know, it'll be a shock otherwise." "For background, Annie was an overachiever and her family got used to this, making smaller marks even more of a blow. In high school she took most extra credits and to keep up with being highest she took and ended up getting hooked on Adderall, causing bullying to get worse and all in all a breakdown. She went to rehab and became our Annie. Her mother hadn't spoke to her since her Adderall breakdown. Until her mother's birthday a while back she called and got back in touch with her mum."

"Ahhh..."

"No, not ahh, stories not finished. Annie's being lying to her mum about her relationship status to get her mum to accept her. Which worked. But now we must find Annie a fiancée in..."

"mumayss." Was the only audible mumble.

"Annie." Jeff berated her.

"2 days. For assumingly till we all go on holiday." They all looked at her in shock and she pulled the disney face. Before they could cover their eyes they already felt sorry for her.

"What can we do?" Britta sighed in defeat.

"Help me find a man to hire, please?" They all nodded one by one but Jeff who was staring sympathetically at her

"Fine." wielded Jeff, "One condition. Has to be someone at least one of us know. Dont want some creeper being paid and kidnapping you."

"Jeffff."

"No, hes right Annie, most tv tropes of strangers pretending not to be strangers is one becomes obsessed."

"And I'd argue with Abed but it happens in real life."

"Fine, lets talk names."

"'The Dean." suggested Chang.

"No, he just came out as gay. And then political."

"Garrett?"

Jeff shook his head, "No, way out of her league -not buyable."

"Abed?" Elroy suggested. They paused, Abed looking nowhere but down.

"Unavailable." Annie declared, Jeff still looked uneasy, "Rachel moved temporarily but they're still together. They skype. She's coming back in a month. Family thing. Plus Abed's too much my friend."

"Todd?"

"Married."

"Guy from paintball 2nd time around?"

"Ohh." Annie smiled.

"No.. we don't know the guy. Or to go with logic, we so don't know him we don't have his number." Jeff shot the idea down. They paused a moment and looked towards Elroy apart from Annie. Elroy laughed a moment then realising they were serious, shook his head, "No, not a chance."

Abed recalled, "No, suppose not. You said your mum was a bigot."

She quietly nodded as the room descended into silence again.

"Leonard?" suggested Leonard.

"No, Leonard. Shoo! There's new tater tots in the hall." Annie waved him away.

"There's new tater tots?!" said all of them in surprise.

She nodded. "We can go."

"We should finish this first." Replied Abed, "There's always the obvious decision."

"Me." Chang interrupted.

"No. Jeff. They're the only ones with enough chemistry." Annie and Jeff looked at each other for a millisecond before Annie looked down without moving her chin. A small half frown, very un-Annie like, made its way across her face. A long pause and Annie started to shake her head at Abed when.

"I suppose you're right. We're close and I'm protective and if she were to pick some scummy stranger Id cause enough fuss to get her caught out. Best way to make sure we don't have a Buddy Austin in our midst." Jeff reasons a while.

"Decided. We must now go. Tater tots call us." He says as they all haul out, a slower Annie behind.

"Thank you. I know you were freaked out when I pretended we were married and you'd not want to rehash it. You're a selfless man, Jeff."

"It's okay. I'd rather not rehash or relive it or pretend stuff but I have family too. And you'll owe me a favour. Also..."

"What?"

"I am selfish." He grinned like he did when she berated him that night they tried to pull the City College advert.

She instantly became suspicious, "Why?"

"Because you're a slow poke and I want tater tots. Bye!" He started running full speed down the hall, passing the others for which Chang considered a challenge and doubled in pace to keep up.

"Save one for me!"

"Only if you start running." He called back, almost out of earshot now. Frankie held a hand out behind her for Annie to grab, she shook her head and started to sprint.


	2. Chapter 2

Jeff ate absent-mindedly at his actually quite delicious tatter tots. He wondered if she knew that he loves her. Judging by that frown before, not really.

It turns out Annie had blackmailed and persuaded the Dean into getting better tatter tots which worried Frankie at first till she realised the bulk buy made it equal the old couch stuffing ones. To which she was applauded and Chang got carried away and tried to kiss her cheek. To which she squirmed about out the way.

"Don't go kissing my pretend fiancee!" Jeff laughed and Annie blushed bright red.

"Oh, no. We're gonna have to practice aren't we? Blushing to tomato tinged lengths will get you caught."

"Why wont you just tell her?" Elroy reasoned.

"She wont talk to me. She was barely speaking as I told her happy birthday before I said it. And she was cold and distant."

"Then she doesn't deserve your company."

"But I want to see her time to time, she's my mum. I miss her."

"So Jeff has to pretend every time?"

"No. I don't know. I'll fake a break up that keeps us friends."

"I'm being dumped already?!" Jeff mock frowned.

"Still the closest thing Jeff's had to a proper relationship."

They all laughed and Annie flashed him a smile. "2 girls in the group engaged to Jeff now, watch out Frankie."

"Huh? Who..?" Frankie asked.

"Jeff and I freaked out at a near closure of the school and we got engaged. We knew we were just panicking but we thought what if we lost the whole group and we were in the same room with the same thought. We dumped each others asses when it failed to happen then." As Britta said this Annie had to stop her small frown coming back and Abed gave her a smile. "

What has happened between your group between the years?"

"Jeff started in this group trying to pull Britta. Became friends, Annie kissed him to win a debate. Still tried to pull Britta, Annie was trying to get over her thing for Troy, succeeded. Jeff &amp; Britta had sex at first paintball. Britta confessed fake feelings to one up a woman. Annie was going away. Only told Jeff she was transferring. Came back. Annie and Jeff kissed. Again. 2nd year, Jeff and Britta tried one upping each other about feelings. We found out about sex table. Annie punched Jeff then told group about kiss. Jeff and Britta started having secret sex. We found out about secret sex, said 'okay'. Jeff and Britta stopped having sex. Me and Annie kissed on 2nd paintball, cos I was Hans Solo."

"WHAT?!" Chorused everyone but Annie and, surprisingly, Chang.

"Long time before I met Rachel. Swore I would never kiss for a role again." This was obviously not some peoples problem, finding out 4 years down the line, "Oh, also, Chang had sex with Shirley and that was odd. Shirley got pregnant and Andre was the dad but we didn't know till the birth. 3rd year, after good portion of year Troy pining for Britta, Britta finally realised her feelings and that Troy liked her back. They started going out. Annie came to live with us. Jeff and Annie went on a skiing holiday and attempted to Halloween pair, something was going on there. We never found out though. Troy and Britta stopped going out cos Troy felt too immature for a grown up relationship. Year 4 gas leak happened. Year 5.."

"That's all that happened in year 4?!"

"We don't know. Anyway 5th year, all going same apart from me getting with Rachel and Jeff meeting his dad. Peirce died, Troy shipped off. Greendale got too good and started closing then Jeff and Britta panicked. Then we got stuck in the basement and Jeff got us out with the power of love for all of us. Or one of us. Not sure yet. Britta and Jeff call off engagement. Year 6, now."

"Why'd you have to tell us that know it all?" Britta asked.

"You didn't know some. Plus it all sounds weird out loud, wanted you to know it. And for viewers and Frankie and Elroy to catch up, its long and easy to get confused. I had to write it down."

"That's all that has happened between you all?"

"No a lot more adventures, breakdowns and a scary glee episode."

"What, really? Wait I meant romantically or sexually."

"No, apart from the Annie of it all, that's it."

"The Annie of it all doesn't exist." No one notices Jeff not looking anyone in the eye as he pretends to look bored.

"Well there will be for the week ahead of us." he reasons. She shrugs and mouths an apology to which he smiles halfheartedly. She reflects it and they look at each other nicely a moment before going back to conversation. Abed being blunt, points with thumb, to where Jeff and Annie are sitting at the end of the table and says, "If you noticed that.. I think Frankie did, that's the Annie of it all." Elroy nods and Frankie makes an understanding noise and Chang looks confused.

"So, Annie," Frankie asked, "what happened with you &amp; your fiancee at skiing?"

Attempting vaguely well to hold back and hide her blush as she answers, "Nothing first time, ended up at Comi-con, people thought Jeff was famous. Staff called us married, I didn't say we're not - they treat you so nice when you're young and married." Frankie and Britta nodded at this in understanding then both hoped the rest didnt get why. Annie continued on, "He was on the pull and they told me and I needed to save face. So I threw a drink at him, then faced my mistake. The second time we actually went skiing and poor Jeff busted his lip, nearly ruined the weekend."

"Why'd you bust his lip?"

"I didn't. He fell."

"Yeahhh... fell. That's totally what I did."

"That's worrying.."

"I tripped over a log."

"Oh, face it you tripped on a squirrel and bashed your face."

"Squirells are tiny!" Now everyone noticed Jeff's lack of ability to meet anyone's eyes.


	3. Chapter 3 - Lessons and Preperations

"Abed, why are there only 3 of us in the study room and the blinds closed?" Annie asks, vaguely nervous.

"Yeah, Abed, filming a porno or murder is more Chang's thing."

"No but you may need privacy for what we need to do." Abed said with a completely serious face.

Jeff and Annie were silent for a moment, full of nervous anticipation.

"Kissing." They both looked in shock, "And apparently all other couple socialition."

"Why?"

"Cos the only times you've kissed you get carried away. TV show or not, couples don't act like that."

"Are you mad, Abed?!"

"Are you, Annie? You decided you'd lie to your mother. You wanna keep it up, act the part. I can tell by reassurances that you've already left enough holes to have reason not to believe."

"Annie, he has a point, if we go this without warning we get a ton of awkward won't kiss moments and your mum finds out." Jeff faces and after an eye contact debate she looks down first indicating that she has lost.

"Okay. Abed what's your plan?"

"Lesson 1; keep the eye contact debates. It's cute. Lesson 2: idle touches. Hold hands, stand closer together, platonic shoulder holding except not so platonic, when speaking quietly soft hand to upper arm. Start with holding hands." She quickly grasps Jeff's arm.

Abed sighs, "Softer. That grips fine if you're furious but otherwise…"

"Otherwise you're cutting off my circulation." Jeff interrupts leading to giggles from Annie and a more natural hand holding. "That's more like it, am I right?"

"You are. You have a chemistry some people could only hope for - so don't act unnatural, not only will people know who could fess you up, your mother will definitely end up suspicious."

"How are we supposed to be not us and natural?"

"As someone I hire alot, you're a good actress Annie as long as the stress doesn't get to your head."

"You hire me because you promised to pay Troy's and now Britta's part of rent every time I act so you don't actually have to pay me."

"Your house is too busy."

"Yeah, about that."

"What?" Annie's voice is sharp and both boys take a small step away.

"You'll need to keep out… The whole time. Least till she goes. You're liberal, living together is only rational."

"That's reasonable."

"We've moved some pieces already, whatever you'd be wanting at Jeff's."

At this Annie's eyes narrowed, "Why else?"

Abed backed up and in an old gangstery voice he says "Here now."

"No, Abed, now's not the time."

"We need to film."

There's a fire in Annie's eyes and Jeff's half amused, half jealous. Sooner than Jeff expects though she gives in, "Britta stays in the bed, no men with her. And if Chang comes within 50 feet of touching my bedroom door I want it investigated and cleaned thoroughly."

"Even for scenes?"

"Especially for scenes."

"But Chang has a scene as a mastermind and womanising."

"Good luck with Britta on the scene. Not my room. You have one." Annie responds, jaw stiffening. Abed though n this a moment and upon the realisation he couldn't argue back without losing the largest set room he was able to get, he conceded.

"Okay, so teach us your ways."

"What brings down many TV tropes of false relationship is awkwardness on barrier crossing. Holding hands, you're fine. Hugging Annie used to be awkward for you, now not so much. Kissing? That's the end game persuader. Jeff, kiss her forehead."  
So he did, Annie tried and failed not to blush but smiled sweetly nonetheless, "It's fine you're allowed to blush as long as you smile. Okay, Annie kiss - Jeff's cheek."  
Having done this to many relatives and girl's who were friends it came easy to Annie. Jeff, not so much. Inside he'd forgot how to breathe for a moment and looked at her happily and dazed for a moment, wanting to swoop her up in his arms and kiss her silly. Soon he could.

"Now a quick kiss and then a sweet kiss. Neither should last longer than 3 seconds."

"Abed, this is getting real weird to do in front of you." Suddenly he was texting and the door opened revealing Rachel.

"Rachel, can you take over? I think my stare may be too director type."

"Y'think? Go sit down, sweetie." She laughs and switches places. Unlike Abed she doesn't feel the need to stand upright and sits properly on the edge of Table Mk 2.  
This seems to put Annie at ease and to the notice of anyone with eyes bar Annie, Annie at ease instantly put Jeff at ease. Before he can react the quick kiss is over but she gives him a lovely smile.

However, wanting to do a good job, Jeff goes for the sweet kiss...2...3. He backs away. They're both in a happy daze.

"How was the sweet kiss?" Abed asks from the couch, refusing to turn around.

"Good, very sweet. You can sort of tell Jeff's counting though."

"What?!" Annie says in shock. Jeff takes a quiet shuffle back in case Annie gets angry.

"Does your mum watch much TV?"

"...No."

"Then you'll be fine. That's all." She smiles and both Annie and Jeff look a bit confused.

"That's all? That's everything?" Jeff asks, forgetting to act apathetic 'cos now he can't soon hold her and kiss her heavily in the name of acting-but-totally-not-acting.

"Yeah. It's not a lot." Annie adds, confused of the small lesson almost ignoring Jeff's outburst.

"It's enough. You're not going to make out recklessly or even kiss for too long in front of your parents. Even if you were a real couple - 'cos it's weird." Abed says and suddenly they wonder why they didn't think of that before. It made perfect sense. Only give them the tools to act like a couple in the way they would around a parent 'cos they'll be around a parent. "Homework, know the basics. Favourite everything, primal fears, you will be tested."

"No kissing homework?"

"Nope." Abed said, finally turning, looking at them from the couch. He tried not to smirk at both faces refusing to look each other's way. Which if they had, they'd have noticed the other was disappointed too. "However from tomorrow on, I suggest you top and tail. A pillow's easier to move than a sofa bed if a surprise wake up call from your mother happens. Kissing, however, comes naturally or you'll look practiced."

Rachel texted Abed, 'Dunno, maybe should let them loose on each other.'

"You should go now. Sort out your room, Annie. Anything not taken will be used." Her eyes widened, instinctively went to Jeff's hand and rushed out leaving Abed to tell Rachel, "No, we can't let us be blamed because they've got 5 years and a bit of nearlys. We need to give them just enough to make them look over the edge. They're ready. So let them pent it up."


	4. Chapter 4 - Tommy Wiseau and bedtimes

She took what she could and left for Jeff's flat. Only to see him standing outside.

"I thought you were only dropping me off."

"I was. Needed to pick us up some drinks and an arriving present for your mother, as much as I don't want her coming. Thought youd still be packing so came back. See I caught you just in time. Put it all in the back." And, after a rather long debate about what couldn't fit in the boot one of Annie's bags filled with her clothes went on the backseat (due to Jeff having an irrational fear of Abed's or Troy's bags having a smidge of juice of buttered noodles on).

They talked normally on the way to the flat and completely forgot to put music on.

They parked up and argued about the new stain about who would clean it and who's actual fault it was.

Inside, Annie put her hair up and put the boxes and bags on his table. That's when she spotted some of the things she'd left were still there. Not a lot just a brown leather cushion and a purple felt one.

Seeing her smile, Jeff squinted questioningly at her until he spotted the cushions. Then he shrugged, sat and started opening a box. It was a small box filled with 2 perfumes, a deodrant, roll on, several nail polishes and a simple silver necklace with a dark blue teardrop jewel.

"Guess I don't have to assume your favourite piece of jewellry." He laughed and she smirked at that.

"Yeah, my grandma gave me it for my 13th. She'd wanted to buy a big present for my 21st but she got ill then. My grandma was my favourite person in the world. I was glad she lasted till I was 15." Annie smiled.

"Well that one answers that." Jeff laughs and they share favourites. They can guess most of each others because honestly, they've been great friends for six years and there are some things you know about your friends back to front. Amongst worst fears though they surprise each other. Jeff has a fear of clowns, becoming his father and being alone again. The first two Annie knew, the last knocked her off her metaphorical feet. It wasn't something she'd thought to consider, he liked his alone time. Then Annie let him know hers; becoming an addict again, it terrified her. The urge to go take a booster on a long day was a niggling feeling that never went away. She knew he knew her fear of snakes and vague fear of rough looking lifts so she told him the one no one else knew. The silence that followed worried and embarrassed her into finishing making her side of the bed without a word.

Until he hugged her. He'd done it so out of nowhere that she wasn't even facing him at the time so he had hugged her from the side. Still she turned as much as she could all the same and held him back.

After their trademark too long hug he looked at her sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry we had you tested and I'm sorry you have to deal with all that." She shrugged.  
They got on with making the bed and after a long night with everyone around to have a Mortal Kombat off they topped and tailed. First it was fine but due to Jeff's avid sleep movements, his legs were all over the place and the nearer they got to Annie's face she resolved to sleeping up top so up she slithered, careful not to wake the all but sleepwalker and found in the big bed, his may be able to fly about but his arms curled up by his head and torso so she had more space here. She easily fell asleep after but at 2 am she was a little annoyed it took her till then Jeff woke up first to his surprise, he blinked awake to a shitty pair of thin brown curtains failing to keep the sun out. He looked behind him to see Annie curled up right behind him. At first he wondered if they'd spooned and he'd been too tired but after a moment to realise he'd recall, see there was a couple of inches between them and her legs onwards were in the sun he realised, while asleep she felt it getting lighter felt a dark patch and hid her head from the light area. The laughs that erupted from him woke up Annie and when he saw her bedhead he doubled up.

"What?" She groaned, still half asleep. "You used me as a wall against the sun. You're so small you just used me!" he laughed, adding, "And sufficed to say you are not born with that hair poker straight."

Rubbing her eyes, she finally opened them the last bit took her by surprise and she narrowed her eyes at him then sprung a revenge smile. That worried Jeff. "What?"

"You got a cowlick." She grinned. His face dropped. Then simply laughed at himself. "Who are you and what have you done with Jeff?"

"Ahh, you're supposed to be my fiancée. You're allowed to see me like this. I just mustn't disappoint my adoring fans." He jokes. She smiles at that. After that they get up and start to get ready. She swears she looks like Tommy Wiseau. Rather than tell her she's wrong he says at least you look like someone from your favourite movie. She amends him of favourite bad movie and huffs into the bathroom and around the flat till she realises he's made pancakes for them both; then all is forgiven so it seems.


End file.
